home. puking in laundry basket.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
