I accidentally had phone sex last night
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
