Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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