its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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