she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I am available for nakedness
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
