Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
