Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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