u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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