Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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