i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
