i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
