If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
