Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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