ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
