It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
