1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
