those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
