Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
