you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Randomize
