Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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