so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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