he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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