I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
