You work out of a Hotel?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
