..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
