I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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