so that wasnt chicken after all
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
