Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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