My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
