so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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