Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
