i think my tv is drunk
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
