apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
