none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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