Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
