But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
