Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
