i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
