Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
