We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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