people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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