Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
