Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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