Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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