I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
