I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
