Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
