Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
