I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
