We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
